Perhaps one reason why I never belong is because I don't try to belong. I find myself constantly jumping around, going for what I don't have, both in the social sense and in other senses.

Take secondary school. I've changed cliques quite a lot of times, fell out with quite a lot of people, and been a hypocrite to pretty much everyone. And then take talents. I've never tried to develop any fully. It kept changing and I was pretty much nowhere until I joined this course. This constant jumping around applies to personality too. And jobs. And CCAs. And my other interests.

Recently I feel that constancy is gone. I can't keep the same thing up anymore, and this quiz I recently did proved just so, not that I'm taking a quiz that seriously. It was a "which animal are you" quiz which used psychological and some biological knowledge to tell about people, and it said I am a "shrew".

Tiny, self-absorbed, unsharing, obsessive future-planning, always moving on, cannot stay still, thrive in unpredictability. And I believe it's true.

So the point is, I'm not staying in one place. There's only one group of friends I cling on to tightly, and that is the mehmehs, and honestly it's the most important thing in my life right now, other than my family. And that's the most mushy thing I've said in who knows how long.

It's just me, and believe me, there were much I tried and changed. But this is pointless, which is why I'll move on.