This is going to come off as patriotic, but I think through these five weeks in the army, I have gained a new spiritual path in my life. Maybe it's not as spiritual as I make it out to be myself, but I guess it's always good to develop as a human being. This path is about being more in sync with the realities of the world. It may be nothing new to many of you, but to me, I guess it's like I'm (Hunger Games reference) someone from the Capitol finally realising the truth of how the people in the districts are treated, although it's plain obvious right from the start. (/Hunger games reference)

Living in a country like Singapore, it's easy to be illusioned about the state of the world. War, natural disasters, hunger, discrimination, and suffering are considered normal in certain parts of the world. They don't think about things like passion, ambition, luxury, and so on, but here we are, feeling entitled to these things. But what exactly is it that entitles us to anything? I'll say, we're lucky to be born in a good place.

During a camp outfield recently, we were constantly in a state of discomfort. No bed for sleep, no proper food (to our standards at least), and generally no sense of having it together most of the time. I wanted so badly to go home and never face it again, but really, I know this is what some people face in their lives at a consistent basis. Still, I don't want to go through such things again, but - spoiler alert - I have to go through the camp a second time for some reasons.

When I was working in a warehouse some time ago (for only one week), I couldn't handle how boring it was, yet that was the life many adults in my country have to face so they could earn the money to support their children. They accept overtime with open arms, whereas teenagers like me work to earn the extra money. Many of us don't face the fear of them running out.

These truths are always there. It's not an epic realisation. But, I've always been ignoring them, rejecting them, and telling myself, "That's their lives. I stick my nose in my own business, because I can't change their lives."

That's how the world works. Certain people go through the easy route, certain people go through tougher ones. That sucks, but it won't function without this "system". Some people serve the nation so that the rest don't have to. The majority don't want to serve, and if we have our way, there'll simply not be enough people. It's not even only like this at a country level. I'm talking about the world in general.

I may sound really brainwashed by the army, as like how I'm brainwashed by everything else, but I sincerely believe it's the truth. I still hate being in the army and I'll not go for it if I have a choice. But it's just how the world works. Even when I sometimes try to find a group of people to direct my anger towards, it just ends up at the "system", which is driven by the needs of the general population, which includes me.

This is just something that I think I could voice out here. It's not going to change my life, but what I'm going to do from now on is to acknowledge this "system" and try to widen my worldly understanding, even if it's simple and makes-no-difference things like watching documentaries, doing more read-ups, and maybe going for my good-karma-and-enlightening-overseas-trip alone when I get the chance. I just want to open my eyes to how the world really works.

Labels: reflection