When we were told to smile
To be honest, Chinese New Year this year had been kind of disappointing, but it was this disappointment that made me remember certain things.

Ever since I started the habit of buying clothes whenever I felt like it instead of buying them right before Chinese New Year, this festival had lost some of its magic. When I was in secondary school, and actually, even in primary school, I would always look forward to wearing new clothes, because they would be lying in the cupboard, untouched, until the first day. The same went for CNY cookies and the sweet drinks. We would bug my mother when we could open them up and she would make us wait till the reunion dinner. Now, we've lost all these "rules". It's just different.

I also miss eating reunion dinner with my family at home without the relatives. When my grandparents were alive, that would be what we do. Now, we always head to some restaurant that my uncle really likes and eat with all my uncles and aunties and cousins. I guess it's nice in its own way, but I miss the older days.

The worst is the attitude we now have. At least till last year, I think I actually looked forward to meeting my cousins and going to Hougang Green or the neighbourhood with them doing nothing in particular. As years pass, we start deeming those things as pointless and boring, which they are. This year, I felt nothing.

To me, Chinese New Year used to be magical, and I can't wait for it to be magical again. It's funny how I realise that I miss my family when my family is right here with me. And when we're physically together, we're still apart.

On a brighter note, Wei Jian returned from Brunei for these two weeks, and on the day of his arrival, we met up because we wanted to throw him a surprise, which he already suspected. I dug out my PS4 box, Joshua and Jessica got some vegetables and luncheon meat and stuff, and then we filled the box with those things as a present for him.

Obviously, he didn't believe it when we showed him the box.

Then on Saturday, we met to go to Wei Jian's house, and I'm glad we did because this was the only day I felt like it was Chinese New Year.

It was the usuals: Cards, mahjong, steamboat, watching Youtube videos, watching embarrassing videos some of us made during secondary school (such as Joshua's singing and a crappy vlog we did during a chalet), and chatting with Wei Jian's mum.

Today, I took half a day off because I did duty on Sunday, and for some reason, I just miss home. Sometimes I have days like this.

Labels: emo, family, mehmeh, reliving those days, things that happened