I just wrote a post about my current frustrations yesterday and for many hours, I've been fighting the urge to delete it. But then I made a new year resolution to open up and the first step is to stop filtering myself. What I'm trying to get at is this: Perhaps what I wrote have offended someone with it. I didn't mean to, so I hope no one felt like I was targeting him/her after reading it. I just really needed to vent my pent up feelings.

Okay, I'm fully aware that this is my 3rd entry in 3 consecutive days, and it's going to be a rather random entry in the sense that I'm going to talk about 3 things that do not link to one another.

3 food/drinks I miss
I know I shouldn't keep thinking of this whole food and stomach thing, but since I'm having this condition, I figured it'll be a good chance to talk about the food and drinks I absolutely must consume.

1. Coffee: You can't seperate coffee and me. I am coffee and coffee is me. That's a lame joke, but I really love coffee. I drink it whenever I deem it to be a peaceful afternoon, or whenever I feel down. On days which I have to wake up early, I depend strongly on the caffeine to keep myself awake. So, no one shall steal my coffee from me.
2. Chocolate: At the beginning of this whole stomach problem, the very food I was unable to resist was chocolate. It is the perfect snack. It's comfort food that actually does provide comfort and its bitter taste which linger in the mouth is unforgivably tempting. I'm going to spam myself with chocolate once I recover.
3. Cheese: I cannot resist cheese. Cheese fries, cheesy pasta, cheese sticks, baked rice, cheesecake. I feel like a freaking mouse.

 There are more food items I miss, but I shall keep it short and simple.

3rd NY resolution
I've decided to add a third new year resolution: To meditate and manifest the law of attraction at least once per week. This law may very well be the thing that change my life the greatest, and I choose to believe and depend heavily on it. For now, I shall apply it to some areas of my life, as per my previous post.

1. Recovery: This Wednesday when I go for my medical appointment, I shall attract the fact that the doctor will find out that my stomach is actually in perfect condition. I don't know how it's going to happen, but with the law of attraction, it will. I don't even mind if the doctor decide that it's all psychological and a change of mindset will miraculously cure me. But for one, I'm pretty sure I'll recover before Chinese New Year. It's baseless faith.
2. Personality: I shall attract comfortable, natural, and fun personality which will help me make friends and get close to people more easily. At the same time, I'm visualising a successful social life in all sorts of places already, such as the army o.o
3. Success: Let's not elaborate on this and keep this point vague for now.

3 ambitions
A big part of my life is spent obsessively charting my paths. I like doing that, so I think that's why I keep changing my ambitions. I'll eventually have to decide on what I want, so I've shortlisted three things I'm most passionate about.

1. TV writer: This is a given, if not I won't be in my course. I used to want to be a scriptwriter because I love dialogues and stories. Now, as much as scriptwriting is fun, I'm more interested in becoming a concept creator. I've heard horror stories about how boring it gets, but for now I think it sounds pretty fun to come up with TV shows after TV shows even after being squeezed dry of creativity. But I guess it'll be best if I get to be involved in writing for my own show too.
2. Game writer: Games were a big part of my childhood. Now, I'm mostly out of sync with the latest games and all, but things shall be fine if I just keep trying to get in sync. In fact, the situation is more or less the same for TV and me. For now, I'm particularly interested in games because of their addictive nature and because they are animated. I did some research and decided that it'll do me lots of good to learn some programming too. I'll see.
3. Animator: When I was in secondary school, I had this naive dream of creating animes, but animes belong to the Japanese, so it's beyond me. Forget that. I want to make animations without following any particular style. For that, I need to not only write stories but also draw them. That's why I'm practicing drawing now. Animations are cool because they are not limited to the reality, and I'm more of a fantasy kind of person.

To achieve any of these ambitions, it's very likely that I need to go overseas, unless Singapore's media industry miraculously recovers. I'm not going to spout words about reviving the industry anymore, because I feel that I won't be able to do that. So, I'm likely to aim for either overseas internship, or overseas education first. Let's hope it's possible.

Labels: future, health