So during today's Fiction Writing class, we were given a short exercise to write about a moment in which we had to make a "critical choice" (it was a lesson about story structure). It kind of reminded me of something that happened at the start of this semester, which isn't super exciting but let's just talk about it anyway.

Before we get there, let's talk about the three most important things to me in university (not in life, just in university):

1. Gaining recognition, forming connections, securing a job - this includes building a network (sigh), scoring well, and gaining skills and experiences.

2. Having an exciting time that goes beyond studying and having dinner. This means having the kind of experience that I will miss when I look back from the future.

3. Fulfilling things that I've always wanted to do, such as having an active lifestyle and doing a sport - having a sport that I can say is "my sport".

Let's just talk about #3. Basically: It didn't/couldn't happen. I couldn't make it.

First, I joined Canoe, but I quit because I got impatient and I felt like I wasn't connecting well with the people there. It's a recurring thing in my life. Then, I thought things would be better after I joined water polo. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I made some great friends there, I just wasn't good enough. Everyone was preparing to go for a competition and my fundamentals remained weak despite weeks of self-training. I had no business being there. So, I got really stressed and quit, possibly disappointing those friends in the process.

I felt kind of bad about it, but I'm at that point (or at least almost) where I don't hate myself and pretend to be who I'm not anymore. It's okay. Maybe I'm just not made for these things. I guess I'm writing this to remind myself that life can be so much simpler if I want less. It's not a sad thing.

Totally not a sad thing.

Labels: digipen, future, reflection, things that happened