I know everyone is different. It's definitely true that there are people i constantly feel irritated at. I know there are some people who feel irritated at me. There definitely are because i had been quite a hypocrite and now i guess i'm still one, to people i hate and fear at the same time.

I know i am different too, in the sense that it takes much more time for me to adjust to new people, or maybe it's because i tend to avoid new people or something.

It had been only my third BP mentoring session even though today is supposed to be the fifth. Two weeks ago, i had food poisoning, that's why. Last week, i had chalet. I skipped the BP mentoring camp, and i skipped the bonding day. I'm not going for next week's children's day session and i'm not going for next week's bonding camp. I am missing a lot of CCA!

Even though there had been so many bonding opportunities (most of them i missed) and three sessions already, i'm still not opened up enough. I guess i need time. I mean, i know that sometimes we really have to force ourselves. But forcing ourselves need time too. I need time while forcing myself.

I do realise i've blogged about this same thing over and over again and i've talked to people about this over and over again and it's getting annoying. I will stop. Today i just want to get my voices out.