Recently, i've bought this book called "Happiness in Hard Times" by Andrew Matthews and it is a really great book. It is easy to agree with and helps a lot. The better thing is that it doesn't even require you to "practice" whatever activity that the book teaches for it to work. It deals directly with your mindset.

The first chapter is "Acceptance". After reading this chapter, i feel very inspired and want to write a blog post about it. I'm not going to summarise stuff that are in the book, but i'm just going to write what my mind came up with after reading the book. Of course, things written here are mostly inspired by that book.

"Acceptance is power" - Andrew Matthews. According to www.dictionary.com, power refers to "capability of doing or accomplishing something". By saying that acceptance is power, he probably meant that if you accept that you are facing a problem, you are giving yourself the capability of solving the problem. That is true. You cannot solve a problem without accepting that there is a problem in the first place.

It is difficult to accept the fact that you have problems, and in order to solve problems you have to change yourself and the surroundings. That is why when some of us face problems, we tend to pretend that everything is alright. When we pretend that everything is okay, we are deluding ourselves and running away, though we should not run away. Instead of running away from the problem, we should fight the problem.

Imagine that you are overweight and you want to become thin. If you say "I'm not fat", what happens? You stay fat. But here's another option: "I am fat. I like myself whether or not i'm fat. I now choose to lose 50 kilos." You accept who you are, now you can move forward.

"Happiness in Hard Times" - Andrew Matthews

It is important to accept your problems. Don't wait until the problem gets too big, and don't use excuses. Problems are troublesome and causes lots of pressure, but this doesn't mean you should give up easily. How can you expect things to become better just by sitting and waiting?

Another book i read long ago is "Mental Strength" by Iain Abernethy. The author mentioned that you have to fight discomfort in order to achieve what you want, and it applies in this solving your problem case as well. Unfortunately for me, i tried too hard to change my surroundings. I wasn't satisfied with my lack of talents, and i let it affect me while i tried to find something i excelled in, which failed. Then jasmine told me that i should just take it easy and change my mindset instead. Many a times, we accept our problems, then we tried to change things externally. Sometimes, what matters is what is going on internally, that means your mindset. By changing our mindset, we can become happier.

Easier said than done, yes, so we have to understand WHY it is easier said than done. The reason is because we hold expectations. According to the book, we have a "worry hierarchy". This means that when we have big problems, the big problems are our priority. When we don't have big problems, small problems become big problems and the big problems are our priority. This way, we can never be satisfied. To counter this worry hierarchy, we cannot just try to eliminate the problems. We must embrace and accept that problems and think of them as positively as we can.

When you suffer from a paper cut, you don't go like "Yes! A paper cut! I love feeling this kind of pain!" That is not what it means to embrace your problems. What it means is if you suffer a paper cut, you go like "A paper cut! I don't like this paper cut but it's alright because i can use this paper cut to remind myself that it feels good when there is no pain". This is because everything is a learning opportunity. It may sound stupid, but without these problems around, life is practically meaningless. Without these problems around, you won't know how happy your situation is.

A housewife without a maid will say that the housewife with a maid is lucky. "If only i have a maid, how happy i'll be!" After she gets a maid, she sees her friend move into a condo, then she'll be like "if only i live in a condo, how happy i'll be!" Then after she move into a condo, she sees her friend migrate, then she'll be like "if only i can migrate, how happy i'll be!" and it'll never end. Moral: Focus on what you have.

Do not postpone happiness, but accept life's challenges and embrace them for their learning experiences. However, this does not mean that you should just accept everything that comes your way. You can solve problems externally and internally at the same time. Good luck.