I think I've went through another series of mini production experience ever since out DTVM Grave Business documentary project and I want to write another post about it. In DTVM, we then had our On-location Production in Penang, FYP, filmmaking elective, internship, and then I did some stuff with my friends. Yeah.

1. Argue over a bubble. Yes, a bubble.

If you use a tripod, you know that you have to centralise a bubble located somewhere on the tripod so that your image will be straight. Yeah, we got into a heated "debate" over how much to care about the bubble.

2. Manipulate passers-by

I feel that we do the most evil things for documentaries. One example included irritating a guy on purpose so that we could capture a secret shot of him being unfriendly. Fortunately, we never used that shot in the end.

3. Shield the equipments with our bodies

The rule is, as my a crew member in my internship puts it: "Take care of the equipment first before your own welfare." Which proved true during on-location production. It was raining heavily, and everyone was giving their all to protect the camera, mic, and (to an extent) tripod. And then there was the story about how Yvette protected the tripod with her body while rolling down a hill, or something.

4. Eat a lot

In the Penang film, we ate all sorts of stuff while filming. In fact, we ate more than we filmed. During internship, no one survives without food. Shall elaborate more on that later.

5. Pretend that a white dress is a wedding dress
I think if we had more budget, we would've settled for a real one, but we didn't, and our FYP was about a wedding.

6. Force actors to deliver cheesy lines to each other's face
"What're you going to do without me?" "You look amazing." "我一定会罪得到你的！” ("I'll definitely be able to catch you!" - pertaining to love)

7. Direct a little girl
Unless you're an experienced director, this is really tough, not because of discipline issues, but because of acting skills.

8. Direct a toy bear
Yeah. The toy bear is a main character.

9. Manipulate a swing
The toy bear was sitting on the swing. The swing was suppose to keep on swinging before calming down, all in the name of symbolism. Working with me may have been quite difficult :p So we actually used a fishing line to control it.

10. Direct a dog
It was Jezebel's dog. She was the one directing it, because she's the owner and she knows how to handle it... But it's a dog.

11. Do 8, 9, and 10 at the same time
For our filmmaking elective project, there was this scene in which the little girl, now all grown up, abandons her teddy bear on a swing and goes after another girl with a dog instead. So, in our 5-man team, one person was acting as the grown-up girl, one person was manipulating the swing, one person was controlling the dog, one person was operating the sound, and I was directing and working on the camera at the same time, while stubbornly trying to keep to my symbolism and rushing before the camera runs out of battery.

12. Race against the sunset
More than one incident, there had been evening scenes in which the sun is setting and the lighting looks really beautiful and pleasing. For our project, we tried to film two scenes during this "magic hour". We failed, but did decently for one of the scenes. For my internship, you have no idea how spectacular the view was in Upper Pierce Reservoir during a sunset - the final scene of 'Scrum!'

13. Film in the dark
This is the worst. I hate this. Never do this, because no matter how much we try to convince ourselves it will work out, it freaking won't, unless you have big-ass lighting.

14. Film lamp-posts and pretend they are living things
For our Cathay Motion Pictures Award film (see previous post). Similar to the toy bear. It's hardly surprising that I like ideas that are not 100% realistic.

15. Force a talent to wear super short shorts and look gay
Kudos to Elijah. He sportingly agreed.

From here on, I shall be talking about my internship, where shit got real. Many of these are not things I did, but more of things the team did.

16. Shift furnitures here and there
Art department stuff. When we shoot at indoor locations, chances are that we have to shift locations here and there to make space for the lights and track and stuff. And then for the next shot, we may need to move them back and make sure it looks like how it looked before we shifted it. And then for the next shot, we may need to move them again. And the director starts scolding you for eating a pao. Okay, that was my fault actually.

17. Go crazy on the details
This is called 'conti'. It means making sure something that is on the table remains on the table throughout the scene, or that if the sofa faces the door, it faces the door throughout. And these little details matter, especially since twitter accounts like 'TV Mistakes' exist.

18. Make rain
Next to filming in the dark, I hate this a lot. It sounds so fun, making rain and spraying water "playing around". NO. Okay, maybe the actors have fun, especially if it's a sports drama.  But behind the scenes, lighting still has to go on, the camera still has to roll, make-up and clothes-conti still need to be taken care of, props still need to be taken care of. If that particular shot in which the rain starts falling needs to be retaken, we had to clean the props till they look dry. This means that everyone is in a bad mood, and when the director is in a bad mood, hell breaks loose. Not that I have much against the director.

19. "Manage" 40+ calefares
For the director, this means lying to them to make them feel like their job is the most important. It also means making sure all calefares (acting as audiences) cheer when they are suppose to and moan when they are suppose to. They won't.
For the assistant director, this means making sure they are ready when the director needs them to be, that they don't smoke within the campus (we filmed in RP), and that troublemakers be gone. Tougher than it sounds.
For the casting director, it means making sure they all reach, they all have transport, and they all follow the rules. Maybe the casting director has to lie to them that they'll have fun, although I doubt they will.
For the props team, this means making sure they don't fold the placards that we made. But they will anyway.
For the production assistants, this means they only get one bottle of free water, no sweet drinks, and only one packet of lunch. No second serving (hello, how many hands do you expect a freaking PA to have... and money). Yet there will be people complaining about double standards.

20. Control traffic. Both literally and figuratively
Literally: We had car scenes, and bicycle scenes that took place in the car park. So we had to block cars from passing when the camera is rolling. Because cars are superior to humans, it's easy for them to ignore us when we frantically wave our arms to stop them. You'll be surprised how many actually stopped.
Figuratively: We couldn't let people walk pass. Some people downright think you are crazy while others went like "I'm timing my run! How can you ask me to stop?!" Well, I'm sorry... I was doing my job.

21. Track the source of a renovation, and ask the renovator to shut up
It was, I think, 2 blocks away, and the renovation was really loud. And when filming, it has to be crazy silent, so as a production assistant (intern), I had to try to track where the sound was coming from and ask the person renovating to stop renovating. To make a long story short, it eventually worked.

22. Carry 100 packets of food
Days with a lot of audience calefares and actors, I had to buy quite a lot of food.

23. Order "20 packets of $3 rice"
And then the auntie will choke on her saliva and ask "how many packets?" and I'll say "20 packets" as if it's the most normal thing to say, and she'll repeat "twenty packets??" and I'll be like "yup."

That's not all, but I guess that's enough for one post. This is getting draggy '_'