I don't have many secrets. The me that you know is probably the me that i am. I like being honest and open so that nobody can use any secret against me. In a way, i am a really simple person. But, if i'm to think about things in another way, i'm not so simple after all. If i'm to have any secrets, they're probably things that i'm shy about. Either that, or things that people will deem as weird.

Many of us live in many different worlds. The world where we interact with one another is the "social world". I call this the public world. Perhaps some of us live in another world known as the "virtual world", where we are mages or archers or warriors and we fight monsters which are too cute to be true. There are probably many others.

For me, i think i live in two worlds. A private world and a public world. The private world i live in consist of only myself. It's not a physical world, which you probably would have understood by now; it's a mental world, or something like that. In this private world, i dare to do things which i'll not do in the public world. I dare to bring my passion to a level, perhaps i can say, to the point of delusion. It's very weird. My private world is really very private.

Next is the public world, where i choose which aspects of me to show, and which aspects of me not to show. Usually i'm not too worried about the "what-not-to-show" parts because it's natural instincts.

I was trying to write a poem but realise that i can't write a decent piece of poem. I don't know many sophisticated words. My words are all really simple. When i describe things, i can't actually paint the picture using words. These are not where i'm good at. What i'm good at when it comes to writing is probably just grammar, organisation and variety in length. Of course, this is all self-proclaimed. And i'm digressing (just recently learnt this word!).

So yeah, i was trying to write a poem about this topic but i failed. So i just had a word diarrhea in open office. In other words, i just typed and typed and typed without caring about grammar, length, word choice, organisation, etc. So i just managed to come up with a metaphor halfway: The public world which i mentioned about is a community website. The private world is "Documents" as it is written in the computer. I have all these stuff in "Documents". I choose which ones to upload to the community website. So yeah, this is how these two worlds work and connect. It's like an online and offline world in the computer.

There are benefits and weaknesses for both worlds. The benefit of the private world is also the weakness of the public world. In my private world, i enjoy freedom of thoughts and does not need to feel insecure about things that don't really matter. In the public world, i am really making a difference to my life. It is the world i'm spending the majority of my time in and it is, in some ways, the "real world". So, it's frightening and makes me feel insecure.

However, the public world is, as i've mentioned, the "real world". This makes what i do in the private world "unreal". It's meaningless. Me studying that book on astrology is meaningless because i'm not going to bring it to the real world except that i'm mentioning a little about it here in my blog. As i was thinking to myself, i don't like writing and talking about things that are affecting me because they make these "problems" become real. But i guess problems need to be solved. It really depends on the situation.

And one last thing about these worlds: Not only is the public world the real one, it is also the one where you interact and make friends. Unlike the public world, the private world is a lonely place. Just like how nobody laughs at me for being so delusional about my passion, there's nobody for me to share it with either.