From 1st January 2011 onwards, i am a different person. I am not going to waver over a criticism, not going to prepare more than i need to and not going to see the shadow instead of the light. I am going to be a cheerful person. I am not going to be pessimistic and grudging. I will let go of things and gather the beauty of everything around me. This is my new year resolution.

I am not the kind of person who believe in moving on and not turning back. Instead, i tend to move back and forth and i see nothing wrong in that. It isn't uncommon for me to suddenly mention about an anime which i've finished watching 3 years ago and i've done that quite often before. What i type in this blog in January 2010 may appear slightly differently as another entry in January 2011. I am not one who let go. That is, unless there is a need to. No point getting inferior over and over again over the same old thing.

I envy people who are confident. How is it that these people stand tall and strong and never waver when trouble comes? How is it that they are so sure? What are their sources of confident? I believe that happiness bring about strength. Strength comes from happiness, and such sources are passion, friends, family and objects. I will treasure everything i have and then become the cheerful person i want to be.

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During this holiday, i've been rather unstable. I lost my goal and didn't know what i wanted anymore. I saw no purpose in what i do and did not know which direction to go. I was lost. Then, i started spending time with my family, and i did some reminiscing. I realised that my main source of happiness is "Family".

Then, i thought about what i want to have and what i want to do.

I want to have a house that has a living room that brings in lots of sunlight. The house must be located somewhere peaceful, but from that peaceful and quiet place, it should be easy to go to a crowded and noisy place. And then there must be an extremely neat kitchen and a very personal room where everything i like is within my physical reach. This room will serve as a closed space for me to escape from the world whenever i feel like it.

I don't really know what i want to do. Perhaps i want to be a scriptwriter. Perhaps i want to be a teacher. I'm not sure.

Anyway, for the near future i've got nothing else planned. I've even thought of not having a new year resolution. But, in the end, i did and i feel motivated to follow it. It sounds so simple but it is probably not easy. So, from 2011 onwards, i'm going to be cheerful and discover my passion.